Mastering the Art of Solo Travel

There is nothing I like more than to be on my own in a big city. Being solo in a big city means the possibility of being anonymous and going entirely unnoticed since you are one among many as the locals go about their day. I love feeling invisible as I slink in and out of museums, cafes, pubs, and shops along my journey. The freedom empowers me and there is a decadent delicious excitement when faced with the prospect of having no one’s agenda for the day, but my own.

Up until very recently all of my solo travel has existed in big cities. I tend to explore less of the tourist areas and concentrate on the heart of the city itself. I like to imagine what it would be like to live in different North American and European cities as I get coffee alongside the locals during their morning commute, encounter them on their lunch breaks, and frequent the same places where they celebrate the end of their workday. I am a voyeur at heart and can spend hours observing people and their interactions and watching life unfold around me. The buzz of the city creates an energy which stimulates and inspires me creatively.

Being one among many has never felt lonely to me, so it came as a great surprise last month when I felt just that when I took a solo journey to Hawaii to the island of Oahu. I needed to clear the cobwebs from my head and the idea of sitting slug-like on the beach, perched under an umbrella, reading the days away sounded like the perfect medicine. I wasn’t prepared to feel so out of place and to be so aware of being a solo traveler. Surrounded by couples fused as one and families playing happily in the sand, I realized that the difference here was everyone was on a vacation and escaping reality just as I was. Instead of blending in, I felt like a stark spotlight was aimed at me wherever I went. Everything seemed to be geared towards pairs and foursomes. The energy of the vacationing folks was a completely different beast to observe than the worker bees of city life. Couples renewed their affections for one another and families rejoiced in having this rare opportunity to spend time together. Everyone had come here to be with their friends and loved ones and as a solo traveler you can’t help, but feel like an outsider wanting to be a part of it all. I recognized immediately what was missing, the distractions that come with city life. My do nothing agenda in paradise had the unintentional effect of making me feel alone among many, rather than one among many.

All was not lost and I was soon seduced by the balmy tropical weather and the sound of the breaking waves. I realized that if I were to partake in a solitary beachy holiday any time soon, I should arm myself with a more active agenda. Oh, and it won’t hurt to brush up on some good rejection lines for the old leathery men who approached me at the beach bars. Until then, I think I will keep my solo travel focused on the great cities of the world.

Have you ever traveled alone and felt out of place? I appreciate any words of wisdom.